Want to know what hurts?

I recently won a poetry contest, and my poem was going to be published in like, a legit book. So, all we have to do is sign the Author's Release form and the Order form. My grandmother was going to use her credit card, but she didn't have something-or-other, so we didn't get it. She said the deadline was in October, but I knew something wasn't right. So, I just checked the website, and I missed the deadline to order ._. Now, even if I were to find that fucking book on eBay or Amazon or whatever, my poem wouldn't be in it... I am seriously like, crying right now.