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Back to blogging. For the time being.

That's a lie. I probably won't be back to this for a long time.

Anyway...

My new year's resolution is to be happy. I've gone too long with being depressed and anxious, and I'm tired of living my life like that. So, I'm getting help and seeing someone to help me... un-bottle my emotions. They've been closed off for so long from both the public and my family, and the things I found pleasurable just... sucked. I was having suicidal thoughts and such, but now that I'm seeking help by mental health professionals, I'm doing a lot better.

So, yes. My new year's resolution may seem shitty or lame to you, but to me, it's really hard. I hope I can manage to smile at least once a day. ;)

Want to know what hurts?

I recently won a poetry contest, and my poem was going to be published in like, a legit book. So, all we have to do is sign the Author's Release form and the Order form. My grandmother was going to use her credit card, but she didn't have something-or-other, so we didn't get it. She said the deadline was in October, but I knew something wasn't right. So, I just checked the website, and I missed the deadline to order ._. Now, even if I were to find that fucking book on eBay or Amazon or whatever, my poem wouldn't be in it... I am seriously like, crying right now.

Eh,

I won't be updating this very often for awhile. There's a lot going on. I'll make it up to you guys. I promise. I'll write a real post soon, maybe this weekend if I'm not asleep. (I'm doing cross-country and it makes me REALLY tired.)

Stephenie Meyer Moment

Okay, so I had a nightmare the other night. I have a few things to say about it.

1. When I say nightmare, I can't stop thinking of a black horse that stampedes through your dreams, since I read Gossamer by Lois Lowry.

2. It was a hilarious nightmare at some parts. But it was still insanely scary.

3. I hate history. It was about the Holocaust.

4. It was in the future. It was a second Holocaust. And it took place in America, not Germany.

I made a story out of it. I titled it "Impure."

Summary:

Less than 75 years after the Holocaust, the American government releases a “vaccine” and makes sure everyone gets it. The public’s memories of the tragic event led by Hitler are erased. The police force is taken over and these government officials begin a purification process- exactly like what Hitler had done- to get rid of criminal activity. Only, it’s being taken to higher and higher levels and soon anyone and everyone is at risk of being deemed impure.

I'll post the cover where the rest of mine are. :)

Camp NaNoWriMo!

There's this website, nanowrimo.org, and every November, they host a competition. Against you and your procrastination ;). NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and entrants attempt at writing a book 50,000 words long- or more. Last November, I tried it, and I completed it, but I ended up scrapping the story because it sucked. Big time.

Anyway, I couldn't get enough of NaNo, so I wanted to try their other event in April, called Script Frenzy. You have to write a (I'm not sure how long) script in a month, I believe. It failed. I don't write scripts and to be honest, I'm not even sure why I tried. But, in July, the NaNo HQ Team came up with another event: Camp NaNoWriMo! I used my account from NaNoWriMo, and I logged into Camp with it. Basically, it's the exactly same as November's NaNo, you try to write a 50k word book. Except, it's in July or August. Yes, BACK TO BACK NOVEL WRITING. Which is totally great if you're trying to write a series of books. Write Book 1 in July, and Book 2 in August. But, I was doing a summer program, and I went on a lot of college tours during July, so I didn't even write a single chapter in July! Oops! :S

But, I'm here to try to write Distals in August. It's August 4, and I'm about 3 chapters behind. My goal was to write a chapter a day, and as soon as I'm done this post, I shall write 2. Then tomorrow, I will write 2 more. So, on Day 5, I will have caught up to my 5 chapters of about 2-2.5k words each. 31 days (one more day than November has!) times 2,500 words = A novel completed. :D (77,500 which is more 20.5k more than my goal!)

Wish me luck. I hope you try it out, too! Goodluck, guys!

Oh my gosh!

I'm so sorry! I've been busy, and I will be busy all this week, too. But, I promise. Next weekend, I will definitely upload not one, but two new posts. Probably book reviews. :)

Book Review: Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

the cold.
Grace has spent years watching the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf -- her wolf -- watches back. He feels deeply familiar to her, but she doesn't know why.

the heat.
Sam has lived two lives. As a wolf, he keeps the silent company of the girl he loves. And then, for a short time each year, he is human, never daring to talk to Grace . . . until now.

the shiver.
For Grace and Sam, love has always been kept at a distance. But once it's spoken, it cannot be denied. Sam must fight to stay human -- and Grace must fight to keep him -- even if it means taking on the scars of the past, the fragility of the present, and the impossibility of the future.


Cover: I love the trees on the cover. They're blue and it looks really pretty. I just re-looked at it, and noticed a wolf! That makes it even cooler! The color scheme is pretty cool, and I love the random red dot above the "i" (Is it actually a paint splatter? You know how much I love those!) For some reason, I just love it when the words are spelled in lower case, and the whole cover is!

Blurb: The blurb has really cool page-break-sort-of-things (The two word lines, all in lowercase.) I thought that was a neat thing to have on there. This blurb was iffy- I figured it would be like any other werewolf love story. I usually hate romance. I picked it up from my local library, anyway.

Inside Details: A cool feature underneath each chapter was the temperature. The temperature plays a massive part in this book, and I think that's a really cool, unique element this novel has. The chapter titles also tell you who's point of view it's told in. The amount of story told by each character is about the same -- one POV for one chapter, then it switches -- until close to the end. It's not too confusing.

Storyline: The book starts out with eleven-year-old Grace being attacked by a bunch of wolves. This immediately drew me in. Then, a yellow-eyed wolf, Sam, saves her. Grace is instantly obsessed with the wolves, and so is her friend, Olivia. Every summer, Grace is sad because she doesn't see her wolves. But, during the winter, the one that saved her, the one with yellow eyes, is always watching her. Six years pass with this going on and Grace goes into the bookshop where Sam works during the summer. He keeps his eyes downcast so she won't see his yellow eyes, the ones that match her wolf. Later that year, Sam shows up at Grace's house with a bleeding wound on his neck. Grace knows that he's a werewolf, and she is there with him throughout this ordeal. Grace and Sam fall in love and Sam takes her on a date to a candy shop. The lady behind the counter comments on how cute they look together, and when she asks Sam how long they've been going out, he says "Six years." I love that part, and I think it's so adorable that he counts the time when Grace didn't know about his human side as part of it. It gets colder and colder, and it gets harder for Sam to stay human. Eventually, Sam tells Grace that this is his last year as a human. He tells her that each year it takes an even warmer temperature to change. His time is up, but neither one of them wants to let go.

Setting: This story takes place in Mercy Falls, Minnesota. I've never been anywhere close to Minnesota, but somehow I can relate to the weather described.

Rating: This book is about love, friendship and beauty with a bit of paranormality. It combines them all into one awesome story. I give it a 4.5 out of 5.